there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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