also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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