real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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