I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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