i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
