Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
