VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
