No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
