I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
