Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just want nice things and good sex
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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