i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
