I am puke
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
