DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
