Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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