I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
