why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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