so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
