I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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