i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
