I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
