piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
