Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
