let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
