I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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