Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
