I hate your face
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I didn't notice because vodka
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
