are you still at the devil's house?
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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