I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
