pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
