Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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