Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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