White coat. Heels.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
