you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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