It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
