Your tits are I can't wait for
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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