I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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