I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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