You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
