I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
