Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
