so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
