so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
