SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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