maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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