What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
