i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
