Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
