sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
