Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
