Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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