I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Fuck appropriateness.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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