I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
